Hi I'm back, 10 years later.

So crazy, I forgot about this journal and 10 years later I re-find it. Well good time because I do need to write my thought down more. I skimmed through some of my posts only to find that I was complaining about being in the 130-140's. Yikes what would 10 year ago me say if she saw me now. Almost back at my weight from 20 years ago, in the 170's. I've been getting back on track and this week I've been back to run/walking. I'm doing the C25K program in hopes of being consistent and to get back to running. Truthfully back to movement, back to health. I'm on week 1, and today I completed day 2. It will snow this weekend, I need to find out when exactly but I hope to complete day 3 tomorrow to wrap up my first week. I want to get out and walk the other days and work on my strength. I definitely plan to keep moving. I have no excuse honestly other than just letting myself slack one too many days. So here's to a new year and documenting this new decade, where I do get back to health.

Week 7: 138

Blew it this weekend. Every day last week I had managed to drop a little bit of weight. Then the weekend came. There was brunch and dinner. There was lots of running around and no time to so exercise. There was laziness when it all hit me on Sunday. 

This morning I woke up feeling a bit disgusted with myself. Really when will I get it right. 

Week 6: 138 7/28/14

I should be at 134.8 only 3.2 lbs lighter such a small amount and still.

2 30 sec planks

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/lift-heavy-weights

2 sets Dead lift

2 sets of 5-6 lunges

1 set of chest lifts

2 sets of tricep extensions

Walked to work about 1 mile. It is such a beautiful breezy day. 

For breakfast oatmeal as usual. 2 hard boiled eggs with 5 grain club crackers. 

Coffee from work. Had 2 cups today.

Lunch: 2 fish tacos with salad that had some creamy dressing. Small margarita and chips and salsa.

Week 5: 137.6 7/22/14

135.3 is where I should be at. I keep slacking off and eating all the wrong things. Still not doing what I should be. 

How bad

It really is about how bad you want something, anything. I'm not grossly fat or overweight but it is a problem for me. It is a problem I want to remedy but I don't think I've wanted it badly enough. 

Running into a colleague who has gone up and down in weight and seeing her slim once again provided some motivation. There was even a nudge when she said, I'm just exercising and eating like I am suppose to, to explain what she has been doing to lose the weight. It really is that simple. So simply put, I haven't been doing it right. 

I'm really trying to focus on the positive and am trying not to be negative about the process or my body. It's hard. It's hard when you chafe in areas you really don't wish to and really shouldn't be. It's hard when parts of you rub together more than you would wish them to. It's hard when parts of you jiggle and you really wish that they didn't. I use the word wish because I've been wishing none of these things happened instead of wanting none of these to happen. Instead I have wanted that piece of chocolate, cookie, pastry or dessert. I've wanted the cheese. Those things I've wanted and have had.

Once I use to strongly believe everything you do gets you somewhere. If I ate and exercised well it got me toward my goals and if I didn't it simply got me further away from my goal. My thoughts need to become as simple as that. Because after all it is that simple. Also quite frankly I'm starting to want it more badly. 

Week 4 136.2

Up and down, up and down and not really sticking or getting close to the weight I would like to achieve or at least get back to. 

My biggest problem is how I eat. I cannot just take a bite of something I should not be eating. I end up eating and eating and eating. Now put cheese on anything and that really goes out to the next level. I just have to commit to eating better and I'm not sure why it's been such a struggle lately. 

10 mile training begins.

So I am signed up for the NYRR Bronx 10 mile run in September and the Philadelphia half marathon in November. Training for the Bronx 10 miler began last week and unfortunately I already missed 2 runs. I'm aiming for those to be the only 2 runs I miss. 

According to the plan I will be following I will be able to run this 10 miler at a 9:40 min/mile pace. I'm excited about that. If I can do it then with 10 miles surely I will be able to do my half in November at a faster time then I have done so far. Maybe just maybe I can at least PR getting a time less than 2:12:03. 

If I can carry a pace of 9:40 at a half marathon that may be a little over 5 minute improvement but anything less than my current time would be great. I would have hoped to accomplish a 2 hour marathon this year but I think at the rate I've been going this year so far that will have to be put on hold for 2015. I really have to keep this goal in mind throughout my training. I hope I can hold on to that goal.